I just found out my parents don’t call and check up on me because they really don’t care.
I moved in with a man against their wishes and now they don’t care what happens to me.
Maybe it’s time to leave my old home behind and just stay here. I guess I don’t need to visit them anyway.
Life Is Kicking My Ass,
Miss Anonymous
The girl stayed in the town, fearing what the people might do if she left. She continued to do her duties and take the harsh words from the people. She cried at nights, sad, and scared.
One morning, before the people awoke, the girl was out fetching fresh produce for the morning feast, when a woman appeared. She did not recognize the woman.
“Child, why do you cry like this?” She spoke in a soft voice and reached out to hold the girls hand.
“I do not wish to be here, but I cannot leave for I cannot be alone.”
“Oh, my, child…do you not know that when you are surrounded by people who do not love you are alone the most? You must get your things and leave this place and these people. There is a journey that awaits you. You must find yourself.” The girl turned to face the woman but she was gone. Surely the girl could not listen to an imagined woman…but as she thought this, she saw a jar on the ground where the woman stood, it said To Get Away and when she opened it, it was filled with coins. The girl took this as a sign that she must leave this town and so she did.
Before the sun peaked and the people arose she was already gone. She went into the dark forest and began her journey…
For the longest time, I’ve wanted to get married young and have a family young. Because my mom didn’t live past 29 and I’ve always been scared I’m not gonna live past 29 too. But this is my life. And I’m only 21. I’m not done with school yet. I don’t want to get married yet. Or have kids. I want to live. I want to go out and have fun and have drinks and be with friends and not worry about anything other than “are the bills paid?” and “am I happy?” Because if the answer to both of those is yes then…why do I need more right now. I’m not gonna rush my life. I’m just gonna live it.
Living My Life,
Miss Anontymous
Once upon a time, there was a girl who gave everything she had to other people because she never wanted to be alone. But those people got tired of her. She wasn’t always nice to them. You see, she would work for them and cook for them and clean for them and make nice things for them and even buy nice things for them with the little bit of money she had…but the people wanted this all of the time. And she couldn’t clean and cook and work all of the time. So, some times, she would become very sad and angry at the people for wanting to much from her and not caring about her. When she cried the people got angry, they told her she was too young and did not know how to act. The told her that they sacrificed so much for her to be here, they let her live with them and let her be a part of their family. They took her places so she would not be alone anymore and she should be grateful because they did more for her than anyone and all she did was think about herself.
The girl thought about all this, and she knew how much she needed the people, so she would apologize and vow to better next time…but the next time and the next time, the same thing kept happening. She did not want to leave the people and be alone…but she feared the people were dishonest, she feared they just wanted to use her, but mostly she feared she could never be herself or be happy with the people.
One day, she decided she might leave…but where would she go? And how would she get there? More importantly, would she be well when she became alone?
I want to clear up what that means:
Yes, I am a born-again Christian.
Yes, I’ve been saved.
Yes, I’ve been baptized.
Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, son of God.
Yes, I believed the Bible is true and the events of the Bible happened.
Yes, I believe in the 10 commandments.
Yes, I believe God’s greatest commandments are to love Him and love people.
Yes, I believe God is all-knowing and perfectly loving…as well as just and jealous.
Yes, I believe God created the universe.
Yes, I believe that the events in Revelation will come to be (rapture, tribulation, judgement day, thousand year reign, etc).
But…
No, I do not believe the Bible is rule book for our day and age.
No, I do not force my beliefs on other people.
No, I do not believe being homosexual is wrong or that people are banished to hell for it.
No, I do not believe tattoos are wrong.
No, I do not believe in “saving yourself for marriage.”
No, I do not believe that I am better than anyone else because I am a Christian.
No, I do not believe we are the only intelligent life forms in the universe.
No, I am not perfect. Yes, I sin. I can pray directly to God. I can ask Him for forgiveness when ever I want. I do not need to be read my last rights on my death bed. I don’t believe in purgatory. I believe spiritual warfare IS real, there is a battle between Heaven and Hell for our souls, and the devil, demons and angels are real. I do not have to be perfect. I believe we can still drink alcohol and posses nice things and make good money as long as that does not become the most important thing in our lives.
In a nut shell:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is equally as great, Love your neighbor as yourself.
I love God, I love people, I talk openly about my faith, I pray, I recognize when I’m wrong and ask for forgiveness, I do the best I can and I try to be a good person. I am Christian. But I am also human.
Yours Truly, Miss Anonymous
PS if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
I feel stuck. In the worst way. I’m in this routine of things to do and every day, every week, it’s the same thing…I wish I had a guy in my life that was spontaneous. I wish B liked to shake things up, go on random road trips to weird places, try new things, but he doesn’t…he won’t ever change his routine. Hell, he won’t even stop smoking.
Fucking Over It,
Miss Anonymous
First, I’d like to apologize for not posting in a few days…I was dealing with that whole SC issue and it wasn’t easy.
You know, I spend most of my time doing things for B. Maybe I take him for granted sometimes yes, but it goes both ways. Yesterday and today are prime examples (and it’s only 8 in the morning). During work I set his phone up so he could retrieve our balance information via text. This way he can always find out how much money we have. Thoughtful right? I thought so.
Then, I go to the grocery store and he wants the truck, so I stop what I’m doing and walk all the way to the front of the store to give him the keys to the truck, no complaints. So he says he needs to pick up a few parts, gotcha. I finish grocery shopping and I drop the bags of clothes off at Good Will so he can stop complaining. Then, I go home. When I get home, he’s not there. I call him. No answer. See, I had planned to not only wash the vehicles but also clean them out. So I clean out his and wait. He doesn’t get home until 10 ish so the truck (which is what I drive to work) didn’t get cleaned out. Then he bitches at me for accidentally leaving the windows down on the suburban. I also cleaned that suburban out for you…your welcome.
So that was yesterday…
This morning, he tells me to get him him up at five, so the alarm goes off and he asks if I’m gonna make his lunch (I’m exhausted and want just a few more minutes of sleep but he bitches “you said you were gonna make my lunch.” How old are we? Can you not make your own lunch??) So, I get up and fry some eggs and bacon and put them on toast and make another sandwich and add some snacks and drinks and lay back down for twenty minutes. Then the alarm for 6 am goes off. I nudge him a few times to get up and turn it off, he yells at me. YELLS AT ME???? What the FUCK did I do?! So I get up, slam the door and knock over the fan (he was cold anyway). And I go out to the truck. It’s a MESS. So, I clean the truck out, come in and wake him up. He doesn’t get up. I do my hair and makeup and wake him up, he wants up at seven (he’s supposed to be at work at seven). Fine, whatever. I eat breakfast, make my lunch, and get some clothes out for him. It’s seven, I wake him up. He yells and bitches at me because I got him the wrong clothes. Then he gets his stuff and kisses me and asks, “Are you gonna miss me today?”
HAHAHAHA…FUCK. NO.
He didn’t apologize, he didn’t say thank you. He just bitched, joked and left.
I take second prize for being selfish, I admit that…but B? B has taken first all week.
Going Out Tonight and Fuck Him,
Miss Anonymous
P.S. Pray I don’t fall asleep at work today.
Thoughtful Butterflies 