Once upon a time, there was a girl who gave everything she had to other people because she never wanted to be alone. But those people got tired of her. She wasn’t always nice to them. You see, she would work for them and cook for them and clean for them and make nice things for them and even buy nice things for them with the little bit of money she had…but the people wanted this all of the time. And she couldn’t clean and cook and work all of the time. So, some times, she would become very sad and angry at the people for wanting to much from her and not caring about her. When she cried the people got angry, they told her she was too young and did not know how to act. The told her that they sacrificed so much for her to be here, they let her live with them and let her be a part of their family. They took her places so she would not be alone anymore and she should be grateful because they did more for her than anyone and all she did was think about herself.
The girl thought about all this, and she knew how much she needed the people, so she would apologize and vow to better next time…but the next time and the next time, the same thing kept happening. She did not want to leave the people and be alone…but she feared the people were dishonest, she feared they just wanted to use her, but mostly she feared she could never be herself or be happy with the people.
I want to clear up what that means:
Yes, I am a born-again Christian.
Yes, I’ve been saved.
Yes, I’ve been baptized.
Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, son of God.
Yes, I believed the Bible is true and the events of the Bible happened.
Yes, I believe in the 10 commandments.
Yes, I believe God’s greatest commandments are to love Him and love people.
Yes, I believe God is all-knowing and perfectly loving…as well as just and jealous.
Yes, I believe God created the universe.
Yes, I believe that the events in Revelation will come to be (rapture, tribulation, judgement day, thousand year reign, etc).
No, I do not believe the Bible is rule book for our day and age.
No, I do not force my beliefs on other people.
No, I do not believe being homosexual is wrong or that people are banished to hell for it.
No, I do not believe tattoos are wrong.
No, I do not believe in “saving yourself for marriage.”
No, I do not believe that I am better than anyone else because I am a Christian.
No, I do not believe we are the only intelligent life forms in the universe.
No, I am not perfect. Yes, I sin. I can pray directly to God. I can ask Him for forgiveness when ever I want. I do not need to be read my last rights on my death bed. I don’t believe in purgatory. I believe spiritual warfare IS real, there is a battle between Heaven and Hell for our souls, and the devil, demons and angels are real. I do not have to be perfect. I believe we can still drink alcohol and posses nice things and make good money as long as that does not become the most important thing in our lives.
In a nut shell:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is equally as great, Love your neighbor as yourself.
I love God, I love people, I talk openly about my faith, I pray, I recognize when I’m wrong and ask for forgiveness, I do the best I can and I try to be a good person. I am Christian. But I am also human.
Yours Truly, Miss Anonymous
PS if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Never lower your standards for anyone.”? What about, “Never settle for less than you deserve.”? These are the sayings that parents tell their children, that teachers tell their students, and even some employers tell this to their employees. Either way it’s well know that no one is supposed to have anything other than great expectations. But I want to talk about the negative effect of this for a minute by using a story from my life to illustrate.
Growing up my mom always told me never to settle. She made this image of the perfect man for me. He was tall, muscular, but not body-builder bad, had a head full of hair, a great smile and perfect eyes. He was a preacher’s son, loved kids, wanted to do mission work and help spread the gospel. He also was a doctor of some kind (my mom worked in the medical center). He didn’t want to have sex or live together before we were married but it didn’t matter because he would be clean and organized and good at sex, too! So, this was the man my mom wanted for me. And this man was who I looked and prayed for all through high school.
Only one problem, this man doesn’t exist.
Let’s break it down. We’ll star with the looks. He was tall, muscular. but not body-builder bad, had a full head of hair, a great smile and perfect eyes. Judging from this description, she wanted me to marry Channing Tatum. Well, the issue with this is there is only one Channing Tatum and not all men look like him. Not to mention, I’m sure Channing Tatum has his flaws (though that is hard to believe).Regardless, all men have flaws. Maybe his eyes aren’t as blue as they should be, maybe his teeth have a gap in them a little, maybe he’s balding prematurely, maybe he’s a little on the short side, and maybe he’s not fat…but he doesn’t exactly workout like he should. End point? The perfect looking man doesn’t exist. And he should have to. My teeth are straight, I’m five feet, ten inches tall (which is abnormal for a girl) and my hair is thin and takes a LOT of product in order to keep it in line. I get acne still, and I’m definitely not fat but I don’t have a six pack either. If I don’t look like a Barbie, then my man doesn’t need to look like Ken. Expectations here need to be lowered.
Instead, just look for a man that YOU are attracted to. Don’t have standards so high that only a man paid to be sexy can reach. If it’s not attainable, you won’t ever be open enough to meet the right man.
Next, he was a preacher’s son, loved kids, wanted to do mission work and help spread the gospel. I dated a preacher’s son, he was not very Christ-like at all. I also knew a couple other brothers who’s dad was a preacher. They were more respectful but way judgmental and that’s not cool. My mom is very religious and faith oriented so I understood her wanting a man of faith for me. But I decided to stop looking for a perfect Christian boy and start looking for an honest man with values and a good sense of morality. It was a lot easier and we still cared about a lot of the same things. Standards here also need to be lowered.
Let’s keep going, a doctor of some kind. Okay, we an probably skip this one because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a doctor and there are plenty of them to go around, I’m sure.
Last point my mom made, he didn’t want to have sex or live together before we were married but it didn’t matter because he would be clean and organized and good at sex, too! I’m just gonna say what we’re all thinking, if you marry someone before you live and sleep with them you’re just retarded. 1. What if you can’t stand living with the person. And 2. What if the sex SUCKS? This isn’t exactly a standard or expectation and I’m not telling the young people to go out and whores to try and find their mate but we need to be realistic, if you enter a monogamous relationship with someone, think they could be the one, then you need to see how you two would get along together, in the same house and bed.
Now…I definitely think that we, as a population, should lower our expectations and standards but that does NOT mean I don’t think we should settle for less than we deserve. We just need to re-evaluate what it is we deserve. If we don’t hold out standards so high then maybe an actual person can reach them. If are expectations aren’t on the moon then someone will come along and meet them. In other words, quit looking for the perfect person and start look for the right person. There is a big difference.
All my love, Miss Anonymous
Stretching over these cliffs,
Down and across that valley,
Darkening everything as it grows;
And growing as the sun hangs high.
But as it grows, distortion takes it,
No longer is it formed.
No, the shape is not of what it was,
Or of what I am.
No longer is it of me,
Nor is it a part of me.
Then, it shrinks with the sun,
And the night approaches,
Fast, faster does the night come,
And the moon rises.
It’s taking over this thing called my shadow.