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They say we define ourselves. They say what we believe to be true about us is usually true about us. If we believe we are strong, we become strong. If we believe we are depressed, we become depressed. Only that’s not true.

I never believed that I am a selfish person person. In fact, when asked, I always had a million different ways to prove I’m not a selfish person. But the fact is, I am selfish. When it comes to B that is. I never think about him and what he wants. It’s always what I want to do, where I want to go, when I want to leave, I wanted something and I made it seem like he wasn’t ever thinking about me if I didn’t get it. But in reality, he is always thinking about me. He does everything for me. We almost broke up last night because of this. He said, “you just take me for granted and you think I’ll never leave.” And he’s right. I do take him completely for granted and I never thought he’d leave. He says we’re okay now but I know that if I don’t change…then it will really be over for us.

Selfish & Scared, Miss Anonymous

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There is a myth out there that coal can be turned into diamonds. This can happen but the chances are highly unlikely, unless the right circumstances present themselves. So I want to talk about this as a representation of love. There’s that L-word again, it’s brought up so much in today’s society.

I consider what B and I have to be love, why? I’ll explain. See, I’m a total nut job. I know, it’s hard to believe right? 😉 But B is too, in a different way though. The reason we got together and are lasting is because we know how to put up with each other. We know how to talk to each other, when not to talk to each other, and what to say. We know when eggshells need to be walked on and we know when we can just erupt like a volcano. We know each other so well. And that’s love.

When I was little, I always wanted a prince, but B isn’t a prince, he’s a diamond. See, after almost every little girl watches their first Disney princess movie, they start to believe in fairy tales. They start to believe that one day they’ll get a prince. But not every girl needs a prince, some girls need a doctor, or a lawyer, a country man, or an artist, and yes, Kate Middleton…some girls need a prince. Regardless of what that man is specifically, to each girl he is simply, a diamond. 

Here’s the point I’m setting up. A diamond is a true love. Someone who will put up with all your flaws. And I say that because it’s easy to get along with all the good aspects of yourself, but when you find someone that will get along with the crazy too…he (or she) is a keeper. Now, once you find a diamond, it’s best you keep hold of it. Sure, there is a lot of coal out there and yeah, maybe one day that coal will become an even bigger, shinier, better diamond…but at the same time, it may just be coal. Once you have diamond, and he/she is yours, you keep hold of it with your life. Because that’s your diamond. That’s your love. There is always going to be a diamond that “looks” better, and there is always going to be coal that could be better. But what you’ve got is already the real thing. What you’ve got already gets you, already loves you, already knows you. It’s not a soul mate, there’s not just one person out there for you, it could be anyone. Anyone could be your diamond. But once you get one to be your diamond, don’t trade in, or try to trade up. Every diamond is precious and wonderful and you need to love the one you have, because it’s yours.

And sometimes, diamonds get grungy, and dirty, and cloudy. And sometimes we loose what it means to possess a diamond. But all we have to do is put in a little effort and that diamond will shine again, and you’ll remember why you love it, and why it’s yours.

Like they say, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it.

XoXo, Miss Anonymous


I feel as though I’m going to be spending the day crying, or almost crying. I try so hard but then I start thinking and my mind gets in the way of everything. I keep telling myself to just shut up and do it, just do it. But I can’t. I keep talking, like word vomit, it’s uncontrollable and then we fight and we yell and we scream and he leaves and I throw things and I get angry and I apologize a hundred times but it never enough and there goes my brain again. It starts thinking, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s cheating on me; I know I’m not enough to satisfy him; I’m always doing things wrong; Maybe it would be best if I left; I bet he just wants me to move out; Does he even love me anymore; Why do I screw up every time we’re in a good place…

And I just think over and over again. I thought being with someone who loves me would make things different, would make me different, but it doesn’t. It’s just the same thing, different people. I’m starting to think my fail attempt at having relationships before wasn’t because I was dating assholes, it was just because I was never good enough for them…but not to them, to me. Like, I was never good enough in my own mind to date someone. And here it goes again. I’ve got something potentially great and I keep screwing it up. 

Almost 21 years of life, with all the shit I’ve been through and done, you’d think I’d get over my insecurities and realize that I AM good enough for someone, but no…they creep back in like….well, like something that creeps. 

I’d take feeling nothing at all over feeling like this.

-Miss Anonymous