There was boy I once believed I loved. Even now I’m still not sure I know what “love” is. This boy was a year and half younger than me. He was so cute. And he like me…me. I was this dorky, soon to be senior in high school. And I remembered the last time a boy liked me, it was in eight grade. And now this really cute, funny, smart boy liked me. David.
It was summer and I had just got my very first cell phone. It was a very exciting time, it was a cool blue slide out phone with a full keyboard and everything. And I had unlimited texting. I thought texting was so cool. I asked for all my friends phone numbers, including David’s (I didn’t know he liked me at that point). A couple of days later, he texts me, out of the blue. I still remember what that text said, My mouth hurts. I was making macaroni and cheese when I got it. I of course replied to find out David had just been at the dentist’s office. After that day, we text messaged from the beginning of the day to my phone curfew of 10 pm, everyday, all summer long. He would pause video games to text me back, I found that out from his friends. Then he told me he liked me. And I told him I liked him, too. Actually, I had never liked a boy as much as I liked David at that point. We continued to text, we sat together in church, hung out as much as we could on Sundays but no one knew we liked each other.
Eventually, we both went to church camp. And that’s where we kissed. My first kiss. It was the second or third night there I believe, my team had just won the giant monkey, they gave it to me to hang onto. I walked to the gazebo alone and sat down. David came and sat next to me. Everyone was going to the sand volleyball court to hang out. We walked through the dark together, but he stopped me at a tree. I put the monkey down and he pressed me up against the tree and kissed me. I had no idea what I was doing, but I liked kissing him. After that we joined the group to hang out.
We ran off in secret a few times to kiss the next couple of days, that’s all we did was kiss. He gave me his sweatshirt, a picture of him, a drawing. I took it all home with me. I really liked this boy. On the last day at camp, he asked me to be his girlfriend, I said yes. It was perfect.
Then, my parents found out. Took my phone. And I had to apologize to all the counselors and pastors at church…including David’s dad. My mom was so mad at me. No one was mad at David though. His parents weren’t, the weren’t even mad at me. They liked me.
Then my parents told me all the trouble David had been in. And how he was the reason his parents moved them to San Antonio in the first place. David had never told me any of that. I felt betrayed and hurt and angry.My parents let me call to talk to him, I told him what I knew. He denied it. I broke up with him. He told me he loved me. The next day (Sunday) I took his sweatshirt and ripped up picture and drawing to church and had my mentor return it to him. I remember thinking how mad I was because I loved him too and he lied to me, and my heart broke.
I forgave him. And I secretly kept in touch with him. And at the football game with our two schools, we were going to meet up, but he didn’t. Slowly I realized who he really was. He wasn’t the boy that used to text me over the summer. He was mean, heartless, and cruel. He had a new girlfriend and rubbed it in my face. He played with my emotions. He changed. And my heart broke all over again.
Now, I realize, he never changed. That was who he always was. He just played a very viscous game, very…very well.
I loved who he pretended to be. But I never loved David.
I never knew David.
And now David is just a memory.
Yours Truly, Miss Anonymous
Thoughtful Butterflies 